Here is a collection of some of the funniest Amazon customer reviews I have found.
A ViewSonic TPCV1250S-1303 computer was supposed to show a 1 GHz Athlon processor and a 30-gig hard drive, but the typo had it as a “10.0 GHz” Athlon processor, and a 3 terabyte hard drive.
That’s when the fun started. Here are some of the user reviews posted by
“I hooked up my scanner to this beast and now there are two of me…. and my
copy (no – really – the COPY) is getting me into all kinds of trouble.”
“This item ships from the future. It requires an additional charge of 7,000
Earth Barter Notes. An EBN is roughly equal to $60. It is SO worth it,
though.”“We have been using one of these at work for the basis of our SKYNET
project. We are so impressed by this hardware that we plan on switching over the
nation’s defense grid to be under complete control of this machine sometime next
week. I’ll post a follow-up review after we do to tell you how it went…” read more
"The Invisible Chair" and all I can say about it is that I no longer use 'visible chairs'. I simply love this exercise; at the home, out in the yard, at the cafe, doesn't matter where. While approaching my bus stop I look at the other bus patrons with a smirk. I peregrinate up to the bench as though I'm about to sit on it like any other rube --- and then right next to the bench --- I neatly fold myself and do the invisible chair exercise. Reading my magazine, self-satisfied, I look askance at my peers. read more
The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee
"I am an attractive woman by beer-goggled standards. But because of my course mustache**, prominent mons pubis, and ample back fat, I don't often get approached by men (even when I premiered this shirt on a Friday night at the Denny's bar). After several unsuccessful weekends, I got wise to the ways of the manhunt. I Bedazzled the words "I AM FEMALE" on the back. You can't deny the allure of three wolves on the front and the unequivocally feminine rhinestone-studded message on back. I would have given this shirt five stars but am resentful over the $24 I had to pony up for the studding apparatus. **(No; I don't mean a Tuscan Whole Milk mustache. I'm growing the real deal). read more
Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
"One Friday, Without the Milk" After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. Then there was that Friday, the terrible Friday that would ruin every Friday for the rest of my life. The door opened, ...read more here
"The Secret"Originally Posted by Ari Brouillette
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want.
Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life. Read More